Asian incompetence and toilets

I have the poor fortune today to have a desk at the library located close to the women's toilets. While the bustling of girls about my desk is a little on the agitating side, what's really causing my blood pressure to sky-rocket is the complete inability of every single Asian girl who needs to be competent. This is evidenced in three ways - and I thought there was only one way to be incompetent with toilets.

1. Flushing. Every girl that goes in there flushes at least four times - no joke. While I blanche at speculating on what the final three flushes are for, the first is always the moment the walk in. Why do they seem so completely incapable of utilising this most simple device? Is it that they'd prefer to have an Apple-Mac toilet with only one giant retarded button?

2. Waiting. It's a disabled stall so there is only one toilet. It's becoming readily apparent that all of the girls using this stall are fully qualified to use this. Why? Because rather than going and sitting back down and getting back to work while they wait, they're forming lines and doing laps of my desk, which I mentioned was nearby. There is absolutely no sex appeal in a girl with obvious mental defects hopping from one leg to the other and doing circuits of my desk. Perhaps if I display some coprophiliac Asian porn on my laptop they'd become unnerved and just go away. Excuse me for a moment while I open up my four-star video folder...

3. Common sense. Most of us recognise the connection between the word "occupied" and the fact that there is someone inside the stall. These girls are undeterred by this however; they seem to think that occupied means they really need to put their backs into it and break the door down. Perhaps they think the big red letters mean that they should go in - that would explain much of my experiences on the roads of Hong Kong in 2001. And the handle not turning? I'm sure that just means that the door is jammed. Just keep trying to pull open that door. Never mind that it only opens by pushing inward.

I'm blaming Asian incompetence in particular today not only because this library is full of Asian nerds but because the only ones practising for the full-bladder marathon by running circles around me are Asian.

I need to be a little quicker when booking my postgrad desks. Otherwise I'll be like the guy buying Christmas dinner at the last minute and there only being a can of Spam left.


UPDATE: Perhaps I was a little unfair in characterising this as a fault with the Asian girls - a rather goofy looking Indian dude just tried to break down the door with his face. Perhaps I should say "Asian girls and guys from the Asian Sub-Continent"