Chaotic neutral

I think I'm a bad man. Not malicious or mean-spirited but there's definitely something that's gone wrong with my set of morals. This revelation struck me today as I was reading the news, but then was somewhat assuaged by my satisfaction with my new alignment modifier of Chaotic Neutral.

The article I read was about a teenage guy who died because he accidentally fell off the roof of a seven-story carpark. Why am I bad? It's because when I read it my immediate and uncontrolled reaction was of amusement rather than a more compassionate feeling of regret or sadness.

The reason for my misguided mirth was the reason why this guy died - he had had a few drinks and was texting instead of looking where he was going. And it's not that there were no guard railst; that it was a tragic but negligent accident. There was a guard rail, it wasn't negligent on the part of the architect and there was no one else to  blame but his own dumb self.

Tragic? Hardly. I often say that this kind of this is natural selection in action; pure unadulterated Darwinism. A guy literally too stupid to live caused his own death.

However this isn't the issue. The problem is my revelry in the fatal misfortunes of someone I don't know and never would care about. I've run into troubles before with people because of this attitude; on occasion it has even jeopardized my job. Normally these situations are more complicated than the one issue so I've never really thought too carefully about it until today.



Whenever I'm presented with an abstract situation and black comedy I fully enjoy it; I never actually have schaudenfreude when there's someone in front of me who is suffering. Still, it doesn't bode well for my general moral standing. I do wonder whether others actually feel moral outrage at my lack of compassion or just pretend because it's expected someone calls me out of this.

Thus I must concede that my alignment now must move from Chaotic Good to Chaotic Neutral. Not good, not evil, little regard for the law but with a code of ethics. Like Captain Jack Sparrow or Dinobot from Beast Wars - a private agenda and no real allegiance, and hedonistic one way or the other.