Androgynous

I never know what to make of people who are seemingly androgynous. People are often highly offended when I can't tell whether they are a man or a woman and this would appear to be my fault on first glance. Numerous classes studied on the topic of gender tell me (at the very least) that this is one of the more prickly areas; much like an anus. We all have one and it's part of who we are, and sometimes you can get as much going in as you do from what's going out.

I fail to see however, how it is entirely my fault that I can't tell what that person flailing across the room is. Short ginger hair and a choleric temper tell me nothing about their sex; this is a quality of redheads in general. Speaking in a monotone voice is problematic in more ways that one - is it a woman with a deep voice or a man with a soft voice?

This person is carrying one of those sissy over-the-shoulder bags that could be used interchangeably for carrying high-tech laptop equipment or an assortment of face moisturisers and fushcia eye-shadow. Even knowing the contents of the bag won't help me at this point as the PC police have pointed out to me before - "women can use computers too, and I have a guy friend who wears make-up"
"Is he gay?"
"Does it matter?"
"Well if he's gay then he's not really a man, now is he?"

These conversations invariably get me into strife, and consistently cause my grade-point average to suffer. Perhaps that is a lesson on targeting my audience more carefully.

Scrutinising one's gait isn't helpful anymore, since Captain Jack Sparrow popularised the "girly run" as fun for everyone. There is real difficulty in ascertaining gender when you've got a manly profession like pirating, girly locks of hair, tattoos, piercings, maritime homosexuality exemptions, and they run by flapping their arms about while feverishly hopping along like a West Side Story dancer

The crocodile dundee solution would seem to be the best - go straight for the source of the confusion and find out firsthand, but most of the androgynous people I've met seem fairly uncomfortable with this. 

Conversations, interactions and relationships are always, ALWAYS two-way affairs. If I'm not getting what gender you are, chances are you aren't representing yourself clearly as a proud member of your gender. Don't get mad at me because I called you "sir" when you're a chick. I'm scared enough of getting hit in the face by that gigantic neck-knob known as an Adam's Apple.