Chivalry

I used to believe in chivalry - to act with nobility, courtesy and charity of heart. The knightly qualities especially pertained to interactions with women; that they were deserving of greater levels of respect and civility - in general society, this would be opening doors, paying for dinner, letting her go first etc.

A few years back a met a girl who thought this type of behaviour was completely retarded - a feminist to be sure, but thought that that type of gallantry should be reserved for when true charity is felt in the heart. For her, feminism was about all types of behaviour - undeserved treatment was just as bad as misogyny. Her idea was that the same set of rules should apply to everyone. To be nice to someone because they are a girl was sexist for her.

I came to agree with this assessment though it never ends well in public; I wait in line for my turn, I let people in while driving and I don't hawk for car parks. And yet women still give me dirty looks and say I'm a dick because I don't enact their form of chivalry. I don't open doors for women, I don't let women go in front of me and I don't automatically pay the bills for women. I do do these acts but they never have anything to do with sex. Well, gender anyway.

This isn't a conundrum for me - it does make my life somewhat more difficult owing to these jerks who think I should treat women better than men, rather than treat all people equally.

People say cynically that chivalry is dead but they're only partly correct. The type of chivalry where we treat women as delicate little flowers unable to stand up for themselves is dead. The type where we treat people better to be generous or charitable is alive, if young.